So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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