Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize