Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
