Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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