Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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