I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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