I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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