YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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