I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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