theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
