forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
