Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
