No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
