Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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