dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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