Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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