Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
