"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
