Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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