ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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