its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she told me i tasted like america
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
