It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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