I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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