the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
