pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
