Don't you send me to vm
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize