i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Randomize
