Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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