So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
