no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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