Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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