I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Randomize
