I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
