I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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