He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
