i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
