found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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