Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
they need to just BURY HIM!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
