Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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