Sponge bath it is.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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