haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
