I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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