the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Barsexuality is the new black.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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