You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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