Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
