In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
