i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
