She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
