Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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