Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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