Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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