Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
