I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
