Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Is it because I queefed?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dear god my vagina.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
