Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
