I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
