I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
