Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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