She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize