im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
