Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
