don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
